I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
