just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
