I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
