My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
