Your mouth is God's brothel.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
