I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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