VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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