So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
