Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
