Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
so much tequila, so little girl.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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