I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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