I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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