this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
