She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
