Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
