So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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