i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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