I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
