You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Couch. On fire.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
