What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
