Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
How external is "for external use only"?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
