Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
