If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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