Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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