She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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