the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
well you can't waste a boner
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize