I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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