yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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