You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
