i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
