His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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