i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
