WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
