You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
