Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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