I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she peed on how many people?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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