So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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