PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
