He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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