I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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