At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i think i have two assholes
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize