glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
