if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
