thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
