She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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