they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
