You're completely useless in the revolution.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
