Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
