whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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