I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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