It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
third nipple confirmed
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
