What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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