How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
