i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
