i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize