One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.