She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
