I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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