gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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