she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
