OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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