He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
